Chapter 2
I went into a deep thought about “A Silent Scream” being
published.
I started thinking what is going to happen and then I
begin to say to myself Oh! Now the world is going to know how I cried
how helpless I was after the murder of my child a feeling I hide for
years.
I begin to feel like a child. I was afraid of what people were going
to think of me.
The heaviest part of “A Silent Scream” that weighted on my heart
was when I was at the cemetery kneeling down on the ground crying
and asking Kenny why did you leave me?
I was ashamed then only because I didn’t know any better and not
only that I was grieving.
I walked into the kitchen turned on the coffee pot ready
to get my
caffeine on.
No better way to start a morning than with a hot cup of coffee.
I stood there as my coffee brewed. Some point questioning my
decision did I make the right choice not to go back to work? I was
afraid.
I was not afraid of failure. What I was afraid of was when my
unemployment check ran out how was I was going to make it.
I walked into my living room with my cup of coffee sat down at
my computer placed my cup on my coaster.
I didn’t want to mess up my computer stand being black stains
shows up well.
I turned around opened the curtains behind me I love to stare into
the wooded area across from where I lived.
It was so relaxing. I always said one day I am going to get a blanket
and lie in the woods.
It seems so peaceful until one day I saw a deer running across the
parking lot.
I changed that thought quickly.
After a nice long stretch I reached down and turned on my
computer.
I had
been doing a lot of research on first time authors you must
market your book before it gets in the hands of the publisher.
I sat quietly meditating for about a minute or two before turning
on the computer. I was still glowing from the thought I was going to
get my book published.
I reached down turned on my computer happy as though I had
